Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Girl Living

As a child the girl lived in government housing. They were little apartments, and the girl's other family members also lived here. She lived in these apartments until sometime before age 7. The girl has no recollection of her life at her own apartment. These times were lived by another person. The girl does remember life at her Aunt's apartment which was across the hallway.

The girl spent all the time she remembers there.  She ate there, played there, and slept there. The girl has no recollection of ever sitting down to a meal made by the mother, or even going somewhere to eat with the mother. Aunt would make the same breakfast everyday: scrambled eggs cooked until rubbery and dried on a towel, tiny biscuits and 2 pieces of greasy pork sausage. She made sure the girl got food. The girl and her family were living off of government food which was given out in paper sacks. She assumes they all have the same contents. Peanut butter, cheese, eggs and some Eidelmann's stale pastries. She drank RC cola. The apartment was tidy. The carpet was matted down and probably brown. The furniture most likely assembled from random thrift stores. On the wall there was a print of two children angels kissing. The walls are stained with nicotine; so much so that behind this picture the wall was white with yellow surrounding it.The dining room was modest, but meals were always served here. Uneaten food got served on a stove which was always on, because that is the only safe place from the cockroaches.

The roaches in these apartments were everywhere. They were not scared to come into the light. The girl remembers a day when she was drinking an RC and set it down on the carpet for a split second. When she returned to the drink, she took a great gulp, and a roach was inside her mouth. The girl now always keeps an eye on her drinks.

From those apartments the girl moved around frequently as the mother married. All of the places she doesn't remember, but they happened. She doesn't recall ever living with Pat the molesting step father. Thankfully, for the girl, someone else lived those days as well. At one point the girl was living and sleeping in a closet, whether this was by choice or not, the girl doesn't know. The closet feels like it was a safe place. She had her rock collections surrounding her, and that was all that mattered.

Then, one day, the mother dropped the girl off at her dads house, whom she did not know well. She said she'd be back at the end of the weekend to retrieve her, and never showed up to do so. The girl begins a new chapter of her life, and it started in second grade.

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